Thursday, August 02, 2012

Me? An Athlete? You Crazy.

I do not think of myself as an athlete. I do not think of myself as someone with a lot of powerful, physical self discipline. I don't want to minimize some of my great traits, they are in there. I'm proud of myself for a lot of things I've accomplished in my life, but like a lot of women, my self worth gets banged around by my own negative self talk. I've said this before, that bitchy voice in my head says I'm fat. I'm lazy. I can't stick with a diet. I can lose weight, but I can't keep it off. But that voice is kind of right sometimes too. I need and want to lose at least 50 pounds right now, but I refuse to get any kind of weight loss surgery. I hate saying this on any given Monday, but I've said it more times than I care to admit,  "I ate horribly last weekend and gained 3 pounds, time to start over."

I don't want to be a size 2, but I want to feel powerful. I want to feel strong. I want to feel like I can tackle a fitness goal and accomplish it. I want to belong to a community of powerful, disciplined women whose motivation I can siphon off of when mine has vanished.. I want to change how I think about myself. I'm going to become an athlete. A klutzy, book nerdy, accident prone novice, but still, an athlete. So here's my plan to train and complete a triathlon in 2013!

  • Register for the Win for KC Women's triathlon happening in July 2013, (It's considered a sprint triathlon which just makes me laugh with envy at anyone calling this a sprint,) but it's a 500 meter swim, 10 mile bike ride and 5K run.
  • Begin at the beginning, and sign up for the Win for KC beginner's triathlon training when they begin offering it in spring 2013
  • Join a gym, so I can swim before or after work. And take one of those dreaded spin classes when it's snowing outside. Someday it will snow again, I think.
  • Buy lots of fitness inspired Successories merchandise, so I have something to hurl against the wall when I am tired, filled with regret and malaise and my knees hurt.
  • Get on my bike, often. Oh, and figure out how to change gears, yeah, it's been awhile. I mean it, can someone show me how to ride this damn thing properly up hill?
  • Bore you with frequent training updates filled with equal portions of deep insight and sarcastic complaining.
  • Take my measurements tonight so I can get tangible results as I lose weight and get fitter. That will happen, right? (I'm open and sharing here, but you will never see weights or measures on this site, I'm entirely too vain for that.)
  • Buy new running shoes and more socks, better socks, socks make all the difference. I hear this "wicking" is a good thing.
  • Decide on important things like the color of my new running/walking shoes and my swim cap. I actually need to buy a swim cap, weird.
  • Make many Lady Gaga and Rihanna filled running playlists. Song recommendations, runner friends?
  • Join the KC Express women's running/walking group. (Thanks to a recommendation from my friend, Sean, whose own triathlon training is well documented over on his blog, he might even provide me with some training expertise/coaching as we get closer to the big race. Wish him luck on his first race this Sunday!)
  • This is the title of the book I started reading last night, Slow Fat Triathlete. Read her memoir and follow her example. 
  • Figure out how to turn around when swimming laps. This can't be that hard, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to look like all knees and ass and elbows the first 100 times I try it.
  • Eventually become one of those people who drive me insane (and by insane, I mean, insane with the jealousy) when they post photos of themselves looking all smug and sweaty and exhausted giddy at the end of a race, and post that picture on Facebook for the ego stroking positive feedback. I will so do that. I can't wait to pose and then post that photo, a lot. Everywhere.
  • Get comfy with my vast lack of experience, the certain falls, mistakes and embarrassing gaffs that are sure to occur over the next year, and just remember, it's all excellent fodder for this blog, no matter how embarrassing, though I'm going to try and keep all bodily fluid gaffs top secret. I have standards, people.


Joe said...

Super like!

AmyK said...

A coworker of mine completed his first triathalon this summer. He and his wife trained together, including taking swimming lessons from a swim coach. His post-event analysis: The most fun you could ever have exercising.

Dammit, are you going to be an inspiration for me? I suppose there are worse things.

lanie@ plumb tuckered said...

Oh! Oh! I have to figure out where I ordered my swim cap from, 'cause you an get one with SEQUINS! And everyone knows they make you faster... I can not WAIT for all your updates!

McMillan said...

I've done three half-marathons at this point, and if you had asked me even three years ago if I would ever had even attempted to do that, I would have laughed in your face and continued to eat my ice cream. But even though they SUCK ASS while you're doing them, it makes me so freaking proud every time I say I've run three half marathons -- especially since at 200+ pounds, people stare at me in disbelief. But they can disbelieve all they want: I've done it.

Shannon M. said...

I'm so excited you're doing this. My unsolicited advice: 1)Mark the registration date for the triathlon on your calendar and sign up Day 1. It fills immediately. I was wait listed this year and luckily got a call in May that I was in.
2)Youre totally right on about the "stuff". Good, cute, but sometimes expensive workout clothes do make me more likely to exercise. If in doubt, buy up. And invest in good bike shorts.
3)I think you'll like spin classes. For some reason a dark room with loud music and a stranger yelling makes for a high quality but surprisingly fun workout. If you want to go with me sometime, let me know. And I'll be happy to bike outside and show you some tricks with the gears.
4) You'll feel great after your swims.
5) Again, super excited you're doing this! Hooray!

margherio said...

Invest in good bike shorts is an understatement. Seriously, invest in good bike shirts. And please share a pic of the sequined swimming cap, that sounds awesome.

Kassie said...

Amy, join me, it's a year away, we can absolutely do this. Lanie, I MUST HAVE ONE. Katie, you were part of my inspiration to think I could do this, seeing all your race photos. Shannon, you mentioned that I should do it last year and I wasn't ready. I'm ready. And spin class sounds like happy torture. Can we schedule a bike date? Margherio, I promise. I think it will be pink.

SaltCityJen said...

Yes, you, an athlete! I second Shannon M. - sign up day 1 (in February) or you might not get it. WIN for KC is the best one. You might also consider Olathe Medical Center/JoCo Parks and Rec all-women's tri in September. You go girl!