Thursday, September 15, 2011

Housewife Demure Skirt Obedient?

One of my absolute favorite things about having this blog site, other than having a place to write and share the nonsense that sometimes bubbles over in my brain, and the chance to connect with and talk to other bloggers, and keep up with friends and family, is checking out the statistics around the blog. I have Google Analytics installed and it gives me a snapshot of the behind the scenes action over here and let's me judge my own popularity on a daily basis. Like a teenage girl's dream and nightmare combined. "Only 39 readers today? I must suck." I exaggerate, but being able to see all the details about visitors and traffic and clicks gives me that nerdy information thrill that I crave.

I can see how many people read a post on any given day (note to self: don't just write about cooking and books,) how long they hang out reading (ideally all day while wasting time at work,) and what states, cities, network, and even web browser they come from or use. No, I don't know if you are wearing pants or not while you read this, but I hope not. Get comfy, people. But my all time favorite thing to check are the search referrals that send people over to Bravely Obey. People search for crazy things. And not surprisingly much of it is sex related. I left off a good number of those, because there are only so many variations of "girls naked obey me" that are funny.

I've scanned over the last six months of search results and compiled a highlight list I thought I would amuse you with this evening. Here are the top most ridiculous, silly and revealing searches. I don't know if this says more about me as a writer or the person doing the search, but now I kind of want to write some posts directed right at these searches. So here we go:

Naples beach boobs
Outdoor wedding lighting cheap
Are bald eagle twins even possible (I'm sure the "even possible" helps with the search)
Ugly red doors on houses
7 month old baby nosebleed
Girls in boots for me to use
Library slut (I think I was stupid enough to title a post like this, begging for nerd porn searches)
Galloping bareback through a golden field
Italian sweatsuits
Nude obey girl
Paintings of prison
Tiny Mexican party hat
Things made from coconut shells
Driving mocs for my porsche
What to wear to a backyard wedding reception if you are 60 (Not 59, not 48, but 60)
Bristly mohawk
Bible degree via mail
Hot dentist makes me numb
Spunk all over her boots
Giraffe wearing a beret

Hipster Giraffe
(Ok, this explains that last one, this is in our bedroom, blogged here.)

Bow vagina tattoo
Housewife Demure Skirt Obedient (Again, that obey thing, in here A LOT)
Red haired old ladies
Bun glasses hot library slud (I think he/she meant slut)
Bald eagle made out of marshmallo
Bibleman pajamas

And my favorite...

Paintings of the backsides of boys (I like how the language chosen is very discreet, not butt or ass, but the demure Victorian backside)

So what brought you here? All the posts I write about sluddy librarians?

1 comment:

bethany actually said...

Man, my keywords on Google Analytics are so boring. Mostly they're variations of "make your own vanilla" or "make spanish rice from leftover rice" or something to do with cupcakes or friendship bracelets or chickpea snacks. Many, MANY of my searches involve cooking. Some of the ways people misspell Bethany are kind of entertaining, I guess.

I think I have funny keyword search envy.