Tuesday, December 06, 2011

December 6: Trying Not to Eat My Words

December 6 Reverb Broads Prompt: List 10 things you would never do. 

Courtesy of the lovely Katrina of katrinatripled.blogspot.com.
But "never" is so certain and final. So I'm going to go with, "to the very best of my ability and with all good intentions I plan to:"

1. Never get rid of Monk Monk, the slightly matted, well-loved 3 foot tall blonde stuffed monkey that my Uncle Herb gave me for Christmas in 1977. He keeps me young, and cozy when Joe is out of town.

Monk monk

2. Never eat liver and onions cooked by my mother, and probably not cooked by anyone else. This is the only meal I can remember deploring as a child. I can still smell it grilling in our kitchen and dreading dinner, slimy liver covered in all those brown stringy onions. Ahck. 

3. Never get a perm again. I desperately wanted Jennifer Grey's hair from Dirty Dancing. I did not receive it. Instead I received a triangle head in 1991. (I probably should add I will never wear eyeliner only on the bottom of my eyelid, but that could come back into fashion at any moment.)


4. Never like the words: salve, moist, ointment or engorged.

5. Never not miss my grandmother and wish we could play another game of Farkle. (Strange dice game that she was obsessed with when she was receiving treatment for lung cancer. I haven't played it since she died. It was her game.)

6. Never collect Precious Moments or Hummels or those Willow Tree angels. But creepy African nail figures and masks, yes.

Mohawk and trade beadsNkisi Nkondi

7. Never will I stop loving the movie Amelie. It makes me happy to my core. And I will also never be able to watch Steel Magnolias or Beaches without crying like an infant.

8. Never buy any of the Left Behind series of books. I will never watch the Kirk Cameron movie version either, unless we are doing a drunken MST3K type of viewing party.

9. Never live my life without an abundance of excellent books and music.


10. Never miss out on the chance to spend time with my girlfriends. They are as important to me as my family. They are my family too.

My Brunette Broads

Bonus item discovered today: I will never be afraid to wear purple tights again, they make me feel all awesome. (Until this year I was a black or brown only type of tights girl. Now I'm all purple or argyle or whatever, it's kraazy, as Ron Swanson would say.)


"Eating words has never given me indigestion."
Winston Churchill 


Snowfairy said...

Brilliant!! What a great collection of nevers.
Purple tights just make me feel a little bit giddy.
I always wanted a perm but wasn't brave enough, but now I'm glad as my hair is so thick it would have looked like a helmet.

Emily said...

Nice MST3K caveat. MST3K makes (almost) anything palatable.

niki said...

Love this list, and agree to...well, all of them...except the creepy status collection.

craige said...

I have decided to get rid of some creepy African masks. I guess I just not appreciating them.

Kassie said...

Oh, ladies, pass your masks on to me. I studied African art as my minor in college and visited West Africa twice, I adore that nail figure. He's only up to good, not evil.

Kerbearspeaks said...

I need purple tights. Or tights or any color really. I have a fear of tights (and skirts & dresses-as you know.) Love this never list! Especially number 10!

Brenda said...

Colored and patterned tights are one of the reasons I love winter. I have at least four purple pairs :-)

lanie@ plumb tuckered said...

As a child of the 80's I say your hair was awesome.... you needed it to balance out your pleated, pegged jeans, correct?

Jonny Sands said...

Hahaha Moist

Kat Walsh said...

I'm telling you... all these years we had so much in common! You and I share one of the ten! I'm on 7 right now and debating about the rest. Turns out there are a lot, but I'm learning each year to be more careful about the word "never". Oh! and the perm! That same year my mom parted my hair the opposite way you are supposed to, not down the middle like we think of it but the other middle, and tight permed just the bangs. Cute. You look like Natalie Portman compared to what I looked like. And I still think your picture is cute... look at that sweet smile?!

Kristendom said...

Um, I beg to differ - you TOTALLY had the same hair as Jennifer Grey - it just looked bad on all of us :-). And yeah, that whole saying "never" thing - it just doesn't work for me.

julieclarsen said...

I am also not a fan of the word moist. It makes me gag a bit. I'll also suggest the word panties be put on the list as well.

bethany actually said...

What's wrong with the word "salve"? Its root meaning is "good health"!

Kassie said...

Panties is also gross. And salve, it just feels unpleasant in the mouth when saying it. It makes me think of some Civil War medical ward, all un-anesthetized amputations and having to wear hoop skirts and rub salve/ointment on the injured. I would do it, but I would hate it. Is my imagination too vivid? Probably.

jastereo said...

Those pics are all 100% awesome.

Jennifer Bergey said...

Ahahahaha. I can't stop laughing. Here we go:

1. I had a monkey that looked very similar to yours when I was a little girl. It was packed in our basement when we lived in a duplex for two years and got moldy and we had to get rid of it. SAD DAY FOR ME.

2. My mom made chicken livers all the time. I never had any after I left home. And I never will. I'd totally forgotten about it.

3. I have similar perm pictures. They are not online.

4. Moist. Ewwwwww.

5. I have a family member who keeps giving me Willow Tree figurines. I haven't figured out how to say "okay, that's enough. I don't need any more to hide in my dresser."

6. Amelie is one of my all-time favorite movies ever!

7. Ah, Left Behind. Ah, Kirk Cameron. I spent a little too much time working in Christian retail during high school and...absorbed...all of that. Ick. I didn't even know what mst3k was until a few years ago. I fell in love!

8. I love books and music. That's a wild Friday night for me!

Nina said...

Liver and onions is the only meal from childhood that I wouldn't eat too. My mom usually only made it when my grandpa came and visited though, so I was pretty safe.