Friday, May 27, 2011

The Girliest Most Delicate Post Ever Written

 HANDICRAFTS!! MAKE UP!! COOKING!! BRAS!!

I have all these little posts that I wanted to pull together into something. None of them were strong enough to make up a full post, but when I sat down and thought about them together I realized they all fall into the stereotypically girly, feminine, lady type things category. Now if you've ever read anything else on this blog you know I don't buy into those gendered stereotypes. There are no limitations to what women can do, should be interested in, or follow as a career path. But I myself am often drawn to passions and activities that fall into the female centered category. I like make up. I enjoy a good twirl around in a full skirt. I love cooking. I've recently taken up knitting. I have a fairly traditional lady-like look about me. I like a novel with a strong female protagonist. I wear pink with frivolous abandon. I never leave the house without a bra or some lip gloss. But this is just me. I don't speak for all women. I speak for one. Though I never dotted my i's with hearts, I promise.

So in no particular order, here are the girly things I've been up to lately. Tonight I might mow the lawn and change the oil in my car and then watch Sports Center. But who knows?

First up: HANDICRAFTS!!
I spent $45 on yarn last week. This will be priciest scarf I have ever owned. Who knew yarn, beautiful modern yarn, was so expensive? Also I learned something quite valuable after spending almost an hour untangling an enormous pile of yarn that had somehow turned into a pile of knots and loops bent on my destruction. 1. For the first 30 minutes, unraveling yarn tangles is very meditative and peaceful. 2. For the second 30 minutes, it is a right irritating pain in the ass. 3. And most valuable, when the friendly yarn store offers to do this yarn balling for you, always say yes, especially if it is free. That's right, I will say yes to balling. 4. Videos on YouTube of older knitting maestros doing their own yarn balling are hilarious and involve matronly ladies and their cats. Seriously.

I am about five inches in on a scarf. The yarn is lovely, the scarf will be too, I'm hoping, but goddamn am I slow. I think the scarf will be done by October, just in time for fall weather. But I'm plugging away. If I'm sitting down at home I'm either writing, knitting or reading lately. If the TV is on, then I'm knitting. I now am looking forward to three hour drives to Omaha just to have three straight hours to knit. I might get that scarf done by September at this rate.

1105-KassieKnitting-0005

1105-KassieKnitting-0010

Secondly: MAKEUP!!
Being a part of the Blogher network, see those pretty little ads on the side, has been a truly beneficial experience for me since I joined last year. I've gotten more readers based on links to my blog that run alongside or under their ads on other blogger's sites. I've become part of a group of like-minded writers interested in sharing their lives and opinions and insights in a very public way. I've gotten to review four books so far, the latest on A Discovery of Witches should be out soon, as a part of the Blogher Book Club and then just last week I received a mysterious box in the mail. Most of the packages that come to our house, I'd guess 85%, are for Joe, so this was a real treat. I came home, Joe had kindly already opened the box since us delicate ladies don't handle knives well and I might have broken a nail. I shoved aside the gallon of packing peanuts and tucked inside was a small, glossy pink gift bag filled with a shiny black compact and sparkly pots of color, a special delivery from Mary Kay Cosmetics. This is not a paid review or advertisement, let me clarify. Other than I received some free make up and if I wanted to write about it, Blogher said go for it.

The compact was very nice, with space for a blush and three small eyeshadows, it had a full mirror and room for tiny brushes underneath. I'll admit, I use the blush everyday now. Sadly though I have a debilitating complex about eyeshadow. I just don't apply it often or well. Other than a bright white dusting of eyeshadow under my eyebrow and in the corner of my eye, I tend to apply eyeliner, smudge it into a soft line, throw on some mascara and stop there. So the bright blue, and subtle shades of brown that came in my gift bag have only been used once. I need to experiment or have someone with actual eye makeup skill show me how to apply. I am eyeshadow deficient. But that blush. It lasts all day, it's light pink and has a hint of gold shimmer. I would buy it myself it's that good. See, I'm practically glowing. Or just happy it's Friday.



Third: COOKING!!
It's been muggy lately. I haven't felt like turning on the stove or pulling out the Crockpot, so on the nights when we don't default to eating out, or meet friends, or work late, we've made some salads. This Strawberry Avocado Salad recipe that Joe stumbled across was delicious, fresh, light and summery. We stuck to the recipe pretty closely, since it was so easy, but did add in some chicken for protein. Though did we even cook our own chicken? Nope, rotisserie chicken saved the day. I liked the way the potent blue cheese complemented the super sweet strawberries and the fatty creaminess of the avocado combined nicely with the balsamic vinaigrette. I might have a smaller version of this for lunch today. Mmmm, blue cheese.

Strawberry Avocado Salad with Chicken
Finally: BRAS!!
No pictures here, I promise. Sorry, dudes. But I think the ladies can agree with me, there is nothing better than a new, properly fitted bra. I hit a buy-one get-one free sale the other day and I couldn't feel happier. A good bra is like armor. Lacy, supportive armor. It makes me stand taller, throw my shoulders back and kind of miss the quadra-boob I had going on yesterday. You know, ladies, when a little bit sneaks out the top of an old bra and you look like you've got two normal breasts with two tiny breasts sitting on top of them. Kind of like chesty muffin top? I hope that doesn't become my new nickname.

Well, this ends my lady themed post. I avoided talk of tampons and nail polish, but otherwise it was like a little issue of Cosmo up in here. Cosmo for old nerds. Happy Friday, everyone! 

4 comments:

AVinNYC said...

This post made me crack up (and that yarn looks BEAUTIFUL- totally worth the price tag!)... have a great holiday weekend!!

Nae said...

Cosmo for nerds. I heart you, and will now be utilizing quadraboob into my vocabulary. Can't wait to see the completed scarf in person!

Suzy C said...

And you do know that you have a family member that sells Mary Kay if you want to replenish that blush, right? With a family discount of course!

Shannon M. said...

Chesty muffin top made me laugh out loud.