I like sex. A lot. I'm an adult woman, and I think my saying this is far from shocking. But it's true. I also like reading books that use the English language to dexterously and seductively write about people having sex, with skill and polish and care. Since 6th grade, when I quietly one-by-one, stole and slowly read every single titillating romance novel my mom had hidden away in her closet book shelf, I've loved to read about sex. My taste has gotten better over time. I like good erotic literature, lady porn, dirty books. I admit it. In public. I mean, not like shouting it from a busy street corner, but here, in my public, I admit I like reading about other people having sex. But more than that, I like to read about what people think about sex, not just pornography, but more analysis about who we are as sexual beings and all the messy, intimate, strange things that people find erotic and will do to access that part of themselves. And I'm not alone. But I'm picky. I hated 50 Shades of Grey, because it was idiotic and poorly written. But I'm thrilled that more women are reading because of that book, and reading racy books that hopefully help them tap into their true sexual natures, in a way that women aren't often encouraged to do. But I'm sorry, 50 Shades was just awful.
So when Blogher's Book Club selected Diary of a Submissive for one of their October books, I was giddy to read and review it. (As always, I was compensated for my review and received the book for free, but the bawdy opinions in here are all mine.) This memoir follows the sexual adventures of a young British journalist, Sophie Moore, who writes about her experiences and relationships as she finds herself drawn into ever more intense and seductive BDSM relationships. I started reading it, quite excited to see where Moore would go, and hoped the book would be an intense dive into the life and psyche of a strong, real woman with a kinky interest in BDSM. It wasn't quite that.
Well, at least the writing was better than 50 Shades of Grey. Though I struggled to believe that this was a real memoir, frankly. Not because anything in it was too shocking or surprising to be believed, but because all of the characters feel cliched and bland. Sure, some of the many, many, many sex scenes were sexy. They should be, since that's really all there is to this book. With a couple of pages of non-sex plot or back story stringing together the sex scenes, it just got boring after a certain point. Like watching five hours of 1970's pornography in a row. I didn't feel like Morgan explored enough about who she was a person, separate from the BDSM relationships, or enough about why she was drawn to that lifestyle. This is a cursory surface glance at a submissive woman's experiences, as a way to package lady porn for the ladies. Right down to the classy pearl necklace on the black and white cover. It's safe, it's pretty and it's empty. And that's fine. If you are looking for a kinky, sexy read, pick this up. But don't expect more than that.
Though I'm sure some readers will find this book disturbing and racy and maybe a little unsettling, it just made me want to read something meatier and deeper. (That sounds dirty doesn't it? Of course everything does since I'm writing about the SEX.) It made me want to read another Dan Savage column or listen to another episode of his podcast. Real callers, real stories, and real advice. Or re-read Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality, a revelatory book that explodes the myths that sexual monogamy is our natural state, or Whip Smart by Melissa Febos, a memoir of a young dominatrix in New York City that was insightful and engaging, or for straight up filthy sexy fiction read Ann Rice's Beauty series. It's full of strong characters set in creative, intricate and layered worlds where dominance and submission are the rule of the land. Hot. Smart, and hot.
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